Updated: Aug 21
Most of us have been raised with Fairy tales as bedtime stories, the shoe fits Cinderella, princess kissed the frog, prince rescued the princess, once upon a time and then they lived Happily Ever After.
I grew up curious. Spent the first part of my teens desperately trying to fit in, and the second part being a rebel all the while holding on to the notion that my ‘Happily Ever After’ was just around the corner. I told myself, I just needed to get over this hurdle, solve this last problem and then once I find my prince charming, my time would come.
It took me a while, I had to kiss a few frogs before one did turn into my prince charming. Next step was convincing the Kings and Queens of both kingdoms and to my surprise, they acquiesced immediately! So, I walked into my new life with full bridal glory ready to finally embrace my Happily Ever After.
I was stoked about the sunsets which we were to watch, or the impromptu trips we were to take or the candlelight dinner we were to forget because we couldn’t keep our hands off each other ;-). Instead, we faced piles of bills that needed to be paid, mounds of laundry that needed to be washed and screw candlelit dinners it was a miracle if we could spend a weekend in the same city. Each day I’d force myself to get up and get through the day thinking today everything will finally click in and each night I’d get to bed disappointed. This was so not how I’d imagined the rest of my life to be. Days passed, some years too frustrations grew and fights too. The Ever afters became less of happy and more of crappy. I was at a loss, where did we go wrong? I mean I loved him and I knew that he loved me but somewhere love was not enough, it needed support, constant maintenance. I became delusional because nothing had prepared me for this, it was supposed to be a cakewalk instead it was a constant battle. Sometimes we’d have huge arguments and one of us would storm off, other times days would pass without any form of conversation beyond the very necessities. Yet, the one who stormed off always came back, one of us (usually me with tears) would always force the other one to start conversations.
As time passed and we grew older we began to realise that Happily Ever After is not constant, it was fleeting, we really needed to be on our toes, evolving, changing together in tandem for us to even spend some time being happy. Which brings me to my point of why no one mentions this? Why no one prepares you for this before you embark on a journey of spending the life together? What if I’d have given up after my first year? What if I’d walked out believing the crap that we were fed? I really am lucky that he didn’t let me, but what if he didn’t stop me? What would I have gotten if I had continued to chase my Happily Ever After?